A family day out

Oh yes, but how do you have a family day out if you are a Biker family?

A family of bikers

Well, you jump on your bikes and go for a ride. Sadly ever since Alex took delivery of his 2005 Yamaha DT50 as his first ever bike, it has had problem after problem and has infuriatingly refused to start! So before he gave up completely and threw the bike in the sea, he gave it one last chance, with Carol and her fabulous tool box.

We ordered some new bits and waited patiently for them to arrive. Luckily for us E-Bay proved to be a worth while place to shop, until the company involved told us that the part we had ordered and paid for was not one that they even had in stock, despite them advertising it! So after a few cross e-mails, they special ordered one and shipped it out.

Carol fitted it and we kicked the bike over, at long last, it fired in to life and sat there purring away, like a tiger with a head ache! Alex was overjoyed and arrived in time to put it back together with a little help from Carol and I. Nothing like the irritating mechanical inefficiency of a machine to bond a family unit!

Alex then jumped on his bike and took it for a spin around the block, at first he was a little nervous, having learned the hard way that bikes that break down mid corner tend to fall over! However, after a couple of laps of the street, he was looking as cool as a polar bear on a particularly cold Tuesday!

Alex on Yoshi, the Yamaha DT50

So it was then off down to Sand Bay, the test track of the masses. However once safely there we were accosted by the Rozzers! They pulled over to chat about bikes and wish Alex a safe and fun riding career, however Jayne joking that she did not have a license caused a gleeful Policeman to rub his hands together and start looking forwards to impounding her bike and riding it back to the cop shop!

Riding back home in the dark with Alex was one of the proudest moments in Carol’s life and Jayne was sat at the back of the queue smiling like a loony on Largactyl! Alex however was riding like a road god and his exhaust was spitting out orange sparks as the engine raced! The sound and smell of burning two stroke oil and the little clouds of exhaust smoke made riding at the back a similar experience to riding across Dartmoor when the beast is about on a foggy night!

Bikes and Rozzers

So what do we do now, we chat to the Rozzers!

 So, this post is about Alex, well done to him for starting out on his biking career. Alex is joining the next generation of bikers and we need them to keep the memories of what biking is about alive and also create new ones in the future. Keep on Biking. 

Alex on Carol's bike

Oh what a Gig...

Bloodstock, Metal to the Masses Battle of the Bands.

Bristol Final. Thursday 12^th July

Bands playing were       :- Fever Sea

                        :- Seprevation

                        :- Control the Storm

                        :- Somnus

The premise behind this gig was that the many bands in Bristol were competing for a place on the Bloodstock stage and even being sent out to Waken. With such a prize, was it any wonder that some very talented bands tried to get to the place?

Carol and I were invited to the final of the events by the organiser Lawrence and frankly it was not a disappointment. Every band that played showed a level of professionalism unsurpassed by many actually signed bands. Not every band was to my personal taste, but it was not possible to fault them for effort, talent or showmanship. Frankly, having four bands of this quality on one stage in the same night is just spoiling the appreciative fans.

Now as a reviewer, I am looking to be critical, offer my opinion and let you know if I think that seeing these bands is worth while, but you know what? You need to check out these bands yourselves, if you get the chance, do so. You will not be disappointed because each one of them was awesome.

The intro by Simon from Bloodstock was fun and informative, seeing that metal is alive and well in the UK was obviously a boost for him and seeing the fans responding to his comments and free t-shirts was pretty cool. He then told the crowd that tonights winner was going to Bloodstock. You could feel the excitement in the air.

The first band was my personal favourite, which is one hell of a statement given the impressive display that was about to commence. So Fever Sea, a band so heavy that they have their own gravity! If you want to categorise them, imagine a band made up of six parts Neurosis and four parts Isis. With elements of evil and pain, the sound that came from these guys was bleak and dark. Frankly, it was beautiful. I could feel every blast beat in my heart, physically and metaphorically. The music is punishing, angry and aggressive and just when you thought that the torment on stage could not get worse, the singer starts hitting himself with the mic. It symbolises the pain of the music and the show is utterly epic.

Fever Sea

The singers vocals are mixed between the guttural despairing howls of a dying animal and the clean crisp sound of a man who knows how to use his voice to touch the heart of Gods. This band are the sort of band that you want to spend time listening too, this is not a band to have in the back ground when you have friends over, this is a band that want you to feel the emotion of every song and I think that they are right. I want to hear them on an album because it think that they have the sort of sound that can pull in light. A thirty minute set was not enough.

As Fever Sea left the stage, the change over crew hit it running and the next band started to set up.  Carol popped outside for a fag and I watched the crowd sudden swell, including a couple who were clearly the parents of one of the bands members.

Seprevation were all smiles, innocent smiles and Iron Maiden patches. Nothing indicated that we were about to be battered about the head with some brutal Thrash Metal! The lead singer is everything that is good about Old School Thrash, he has the smile that screams out loudly “I love what I fucking do!”  He has the gurns needed to front a band like this and he works his face as hard as he works his Bass. Kids this young throwing out Thrash of this quality cannot be a bad thing, the roots of the scene can be heard in there, but this is all original and the crowd are clearly and rightly on their side.

Seprevation

One word of warning though, if you go and see this band, make an appointment with your spinal unit for the next day! Head Banging that hard must cause damage! Fuck me, they went for it and you can see the allegiance to the scene in their denim cut offs and band shirts.

Now I have stated that you can hear the influences in the sound and this is not a bad thing, I could hear the old school being channelled by this band, bands I have not listened to or thought about since I was in my late teens. This is a band that will be worshipped in modern German Thrash circles and we all know how mad German Thrash fans can be for the music. The pace is typical of thrash, it gallops along, no that is not right, this is beyond gallop, This is the equivalent of a drag bike on a quarter mile, damn they are fast!

The vocals came through loud and clear, clearly enjoying his singing and yet bashing away at that bass, which leads me to a question. How the fuck does a guy like this head bang like a loon, continue to play his guitar like it is a tactical weapon and sing like that, all at the same time! I would hazard that this guy can rub his tummy, pat his head and juggle chainsaws at the same time!

The energy coming from the stage is huge, you could have run a city on the power produced, these kids are energised with a love of thrash and the influence is so clear it pats them on the back with gratitude for keeping the scene alive. The Slayer influenced solos are accomplished and expertly executed, have these guys done anything else in their youth other than listen to the best musicians out there? I knew that they would be successful, but at the end of the night when they were announced as winners, I do not think that they believed it. Well done lads, Bloodstock and Waken will love you.

The third band to hit the stage were Control the Storm, a six piece band with a woman vocalist, a manic keyboardist and a lead guitarist who has probably been intimate with that guitar! Now let me state for the record, I am not a fan of power metal for any of it’s dramatic solos and squawking vocals, but even I can see when a band is worthy of respect. Sadly for the first couple of songs, the sound levels were somewhat out and the singers vocals were buried in the guitars along with the keyboard. However, once this was sorted, a talented and exceptional band rocked through the sort of set that makes men in kilts want to quaff ale and rampage!

Control the Storm

When I saw them hit the stage I had horrible fears of a Nightwish clone, but this is actually a long way from the reality. This band are a disciplined, practiced and relentless force to be reckoned with. Carol the photographer looked at me and gave me her biggest smile of the night, her thumbs up only added to the message. This band was Carol’s band of the night and I am pretty sure that she would have been happy to just see this band all evening. Knowing that I am a nasty cow who loves black metal she has told me that I have to tell you how much she enjoyed their performance.

For me, I can admit that they know their stuff, but I would ask that they sutbly change their mix a little so that the vocals, keyboard and backing vocals are a little higher in the mix. The drumming and guitar though are mesmerising and played with an honest intent and brutality that is refreshing in the power metal scene. Each song is performed with an honest integrity, this band earnestly want you to believe in them as mush as they do themselves and to be honest it is not hard to be drawn along, even if you are a jaded Black Metal fan like me. The fan that climbed the support beams that hold up the ceiling just so that he could rock out is a clear sign that these guys know what they are doing and when they get you in their sights, they absolutely shine. Power Metal is pure escapist fun and if that is your thing, you will love this band, but maybe not as much as Carol did!

The last band of the night was Somnus, and as soon as I saw the Bass player, I knew that I would enjoy the music about to start. You see as every one in the metal scene knows, when you see a man with his head on upside down, it is going to get heavy! Yes, the ubiquitous Heavy Metal Beard and shaved head look is an indicator that the next band mean serious business. The Anthrax shirt on the guitarist suggests that they know what heavy stuff is and then the painfully sharp witted singer comes forward. Noise annihilates the crowd, the screamed vocals brutalise the room. Oh fuck yes…

Somnus

Somnus bring you the Death strike. I stood there watching that stage and I knew that this band were going to hurt us, but it was ok, they had to do so! When Simon introduced them he warned us that they were going to rip our faces off and he played it down. Musically they are deeply intense, it comes at you wave after wave of brutality, clearly a professional band, doing what is encoded in their genes, this is the terminator of death metal, they just do not stop! The first two tracks decimate the room, the suddenly enlarged crown worship them for doing so. The vocalist is terrifying in his intensity, this is not a band you want to face when you are in the wrong, they will flatten you with a look.

In terms of delivery, this band is by a head, above the other bands that played, yet the political side to them makes them a difficult pill for the fun loving metal heads to swallow. Do not listen to this band if you like songs about riding on freight trains, roses with thorns or girls who are poison. Do listen to this band if you are mature enough to understand that the world is shit, to know that capitalism is eating the soul of humanity and that fascism is not the way ahead for a thinking society. This band are making a point and it is nailed on to their performance with integrity and anger and hatred of injustice. I knew this after three songs and then he said it, “This song is about my desire to punch Simon Cowell in the face… with Jason’s (Bass player) cock!”

Leaping into the crowds and surfing over the hands of those who adore them while still managing to brutalise the crowd with evil vocals is a skill that this man has mastered, their stage presence is intimidating and yet loving. There is a feral quality to them, like a hungry tiger, you want to approach, but worry that you may get eaten! With the last song played, I was reminded of Ripley in Aliens. We were just Nuked from Orbit! What a gig.

Through out the night, the biggest problem was the sound levels, given the difficulties of the room, it was impressively handled, but it was there for almost every act. The final speech from Bloodstock Simon was heartfelt and earnest. Heavy metal music is about passion and the scene is alive and well despite what the mainstream wants you to believe. I have been lucky in that I have seen some great bands in the last couple of weeks, but the message is important here. You must absolutely support the new up and coming bands, give them a place to play, congratulate them when they succeed and don’t hold a grudge if they need to practice a little more. With out the musicians and fans, there is no scene, yet with out the scene, you will be drip fed the sort of music that Simon Cowell believes is right for you. Say no to manufactured Pop Music, organised number ones that put the latest radio friendly shite in the sales lists. Say no to this bollocks and embrace your local scene. There are bands out there who are blowing peoples minds and at this gig I saw four of them.

Support your local scene and have your mind blown, you will not regret it and send the corporate music machine this message. FUCK YOU!

 We would like to give a big Thank you to Lawrence from Megalith Pro Motions for the tickets and warm welcome at the venue. Folks, you need to keep your eye on these guys, because they have some good stuff on the books and they support the scene. Keep it real guys, we need more promoters like you at Megalith Pro Motions to make brilliant events like this work as well as this one.

Riding a motorcycle is not about the pursuit of speed, it is about the pursuit of a moment of perfect beauty

This thought struck me as I rode my bike through the beautiful Somerset countryside, on a day where the sky was blue and the air cool. The road tearing past below my wheels was dry and my tyres were sticking perfectly in every corner. Yet as I blasted along, I thought not about the road ahead or the country side around me, but rather about why I did this peculiar thing for fun?

Why do I enjoy riding Sylvie, my precious motorcycle?

My life is grey, a flat tyre on the trailer of existence.

Because it is fun would be the simple answer, but why is it fun? What is it about riding a motorcycle along the road that fills the heart with joy?

Now, before you vanish to think about this and also because I am both thinking about and  writing this, I am going to try to answer my own question. Firstly let’s break this down, is riding my motorcycle to work fun? For me, yes it is because it is a way of relaxing before the stresses of the day. Riding home is a way of removing that very same stress once I leave. Is riding in the rain fun? Again for me, it can be and it requires a very different skill set depending type of rain or how long it was since it last rained. OK, so when is it not fun?

It is not fun when I do not enjoy the riding experience and those times are when I have a migraine because the impairment to my functioning makes it too dangerous to enjoy the bike, also throwing up in my helmet every time I see a bright light or hit a bump really can be horribly irritating. I don’t like riding when I am afraid, on those moments of fear when I have made a mistake, misjudged a corner or some one else has impacted on my experience by being dangerous on the road.

Riding when cold is no fun and riding when tired can be just plain dangerous; combine these and you are in for one bad ride. I rode in snow after a hard day at work once and this is something I never intend to repeat. Heavy traffic can really spoil a ride too, if you hit standing traffic and have to spend an hour threading through it all can be fun, until you get stuck or hit a dog lead from the idiot who thought that they can walk their dog on the hard shoulder from their car while stopped!

So there is an inherent quality to the experience that we are looking for here, the difference between a good ride and a bad ride. Now if you want to read a book that talks about quality and its use in motorcycling as a hobby, go and read Zen and the art of Motorcyclemaintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (which I shall add, that although I read it over ten years ago, remains a fantastic read). I however am not going to discuss the definition of quality here, save for this. I am looking for the delicate qualities that make a good ride great.

So when do all of the factors that come together give a quality ride that makes my heart soar with exhilaration? Now I know that it is not just speed, but maybe speed (as in motion, not amphetamine!)  helps? Think about it, do you enjoy riding fast, I mean ride really, really fast? For a thought experiment, imagine an empty road through the countryside. This road has no speed restriction, it is long and wide and has sweeping curves that can be taken at terrific speed. It has the grip of a racetrack and the surface is perfect. In this experiment, you my dear reader, stand at the start and no matter how fast you ride, it is going to take an hour to reach the end. So what ever speed you go, you have an hour of riding ahead of you to reach the café at the other end that serves the best cuppa in the known universe!

You and I set out on this journey, you have your bike and I have my precious Sylvie on this mythical road, together we are blasting along the perfect tarmac, fully maxed out, sixth gear, just below the redline, engine screaming and reaching the top speed of the bikes. Is this Great fun? Undoubtedly, riding fast with a friend is always fun

The next day, you stand at the start once more, alone his time and set out once again, hitting that silky smooth sixth gear and hold her steady at eighty miles per hour again through the sweeping bends, is it as much fun at eighty miles per hour as it is at one hundred and eighty?

Well, if that mythical road were to exist and if I rode it every day, in the end I would get bored of it and it's perfectly smooth curves. That road would not be the same amount of fun anymore, having lost many of the good qualities that it once had.

Now imagine a different road. A road that is twisty and turny, it has you constantly shifting up and down the gear box, moving your weight around the bike as you guide her through the curves, this is a road of total involvement that will always require your concentration because if you stop thinking about it, you risk coming off of it. There are small dips and rises and this road will have changeable conditions, every day will have you going along it subtly differently in style. Now this is the perfect type of road

So what makes a quality ride? It is those collections of moments where I as the rider am in perfect harmonious synchronicity with my bike, those beautiful seconds where I don’t feel my hands on the bars or my feet on the pegs, but I feel the road under my wheels the pull of gyroscopic effect on my motion. It is those beautiful moments where the border between bike and rider shift. In short, it is those moments when I feel connected to my bike and these moments are the ones that are truly the most beautiful.

So that is now my aim when I am riding my bike, it is not the speed, it is not the prefect road and it is not the café at the end. My aim is to find those moments of perfect beauty, they come for fractions of a second and last in the memory for ever. I ask you dear reader, can you think about a moment when you truly enjoyed riding your bike? Was it like mine, a moment of beauty?

OK, so this is a penny farthing, but it still has that momentary beauty.

Another Sylvie Modification

As many of you know, I am very proud of my beautiful Suzuki SV650. I have done a lot of work on her, made a few modifications slowing turning her into a very capable touring bike. I love the pull from the now unrestricted engine and find that she is powerful enough to really put the miles in, even when fully loaded with panniers and tank bag.

The most recent modification are a combination of practical and cosmetic and for this, I have a friend in a motorcycle forum to thank. The modification is such a simple and elegant piece of engineering because it is simply the adjuster plates that hold the rear wheel.

Old above and new below

The old plates are made from mild steel, they bend when the wheel nut is tightened and on one occasion, twisted around the swing arm and scratched the aluminium rather badly. The new units are made from high grade stainless steel which is much harder and holds the wheel in perfect alignment. The small markers cut into the new plates make putting the wheel in straight, a very easy job and once tightened they look lovely.

So, I hear you ask, what is that strange arm coming off the the plate on the left? Well my dear friends, that is a mount for an oil feed pipe. This puts the nozzle from my fabulous Tutoro in just the perfect place to ensure that the chain is well lubricated.

Oil Feed pipe from my Tutoro Oiler

So folks, if any of you ride a Pointy SV, then get yourself over to the SV forum and find a chap called Bibio, he is the one who made these fabulous plates and his prices are more than reasonable.

A very clean Sylvie back wheel

My final words on this are a little thank you to Bibio, he did the research and development himself and put his own money into this before he offered to sell the parts. He also has other items for sale that make working on your SV a whole lot easier.

So well done Bibio and thank you for your effort.

Death Metal

A Night in Weston Super Mare

What can I say? This was a local gig in a snooker club, with local bands, most of whom do not look old enough to drink alcohol or even reach high enough to even see over a snooker table let alone play on it. DJ Ghost told me about the gig and asked me if I wanted to go along with him. “Why not?” I thought, “it is at least a night out!” I was not expecting a lot to be honest.

I was wrong.

Very, very wrong…

We found the venue, the Green Baize in the centre of Weston and noticed that there were the usual sort of metal fans hanging about outside having a smoke. From inside came the delicious sound of Iron Man by Black Sabbath, gently muffled by closed doors and a large stairway. We climbed the stairs, the music getting louder, the atmosphere getting darker!

Inside, it was pretty bleak, a dark cavernous room, a small stage and what looked like a feeble PA system. A few bearded twenty somethings wandered around looking cool, t-shirts emblazoned with the names of much loved heavy metal bands. I was warming to the venue, right up until the first band hit the stage and then I fell in love with the place.

The first band, Theories of Revolution, were a group of young lads all of whom looked like fairly typical metal head types, straggly beards, faded t-shirts and yet rather more pairs of glasses than you usually see head banging. They played the sort of rousing metal that makes men with very large and much sharper swords, charge naked (except for a covering of blue war paint!) into battle screaming obscenities! They did a couple of covers with the skill you expect from a regularly gigging pub band, but then announced that they had not played a gig together for well over a year. A band with no practice should not sound that good. A thirty minute set just did not feel long enough.

Theories of Revolution

The second band were frankly amazing, they blasted a pure brutal death metal, played with the smothering intensity of a land slide. I was happily buried by Gelgothen and knew by half way through the first song that I really liked this band. The humour of the band was clearly coming through, they loved making the music almost as much as the crowd loved hearing it. However the two second song had me in fits, the introduction to the song lasted longer than the song itself and yes, they were good, reminding me of Napalm Death at their most fun brutality.

Gelgothen

Band number three were Made to Waste, a biblical apocalyptic terror given the form of a death metal band, clearly well rehearsed, using the stage with the casual elegance of a band who know that they own the crowd. This was precision metal artillery, a furious nuclear assault of the most brutal death metal that was showcased that night. Claiming that the pit was enthusiastic is understatement indeed, the pit infront of the stage was mesmerising with the friendly beatings they were giving each other. Yet as soon as the song ends, the hulks that were battering the shit out of each other embrace each other with warmth of the death metal brotherhood. It would be fair to say that this band with their cheeky smiles and ferocious sound wiped the floor with us as we were watching and we loved them for doing it to us. This is a band that deserves the recognition of a big record label and a world tour, they exude the air of a band that have been gigging for more years than they could possibly have been alive. At one point during the start to a particularly brutal song, the lead singer broke a string on his guitar. Stopping the show immediately he showed us with pride the damage done and asked us to cheer until the guitarist from another band lent him another guitar. We cheered because he asked us and we were his to command.

Made to Waste

Made to Waste

While Made to Waste were playing, I was misfortunate enough to see the saddest sight of the evening, which as a lesbian woman I have thought about a lot because I do not want to come across as unkind or militant. So let’s not beat about the bush (trust me, I have tried that and the result is not fun!), young women in the metal scene; stop trying to excite male members of the pit by making them think that just maybe, they can participate in a three way with you and your pretty female friend! Flashing your knickers while your friend grinds away at your nether regions really does nothing for your dignity. So stop it!

Made to Waste

Throne of Demise hit the stage while I was chatting with friends. However, I am not sure if that was their name to be honest, at the start of the gig they claimed to now be called the Mother Fuckers! With a sound that reminded me in parts of Pantera or even Slayer, they stormed across the stage with enthusiastic brutality, mixing classic death metal growls with clean vocals. However, following a band like Made to Waste would be a challenge even for Slayer or Pantera, so a band that sounded similar was going to struggle.

Throne of Demise

Between the bands a couple of local DJ’s filled the quiet with some classic old school metal, the beer flowed and the atmosphere never swayed from loving good nature. I have been a metal head since my teens and I have never taken for granted that loving embrace of comradeship shared between drunken death metal fans. It is one of the most brutal forms of music, with a lyrical content that can shock and horrify, but at it’s heart is a feeling that just maybe, things can be good if you just tried being nice to other people and listen to brutal 

Death fucking Metal

Both Ghost and I had a wicked time, I started from a point of view that was expecting a few kids squawking out badly played Nirvana covers. But we were knocked sideways when professional, well rehearsed and extremely brutal metal bands floored us with a display of aural violence that I have not seen since Extreme Noise Terror in London, back in the nineties. If you get the chance to see any of these bands then do so, you will not be disappointed. 

Gelgothen

Get your filthy hands off my Biking

24^th of June 2012, MAG action day.

Disney never made a film about these two!

If you are reading this, but are not a biker then you may be wondering why Bikers are making so much fuss at the moment about proposed legislation coming direct from Unelected Bureaucrats working in the offices of power with in the EU. More directly, you may be wondering why a load of bikers held up the traffic today in the middle of the day while wearing very large yellow t-shirts shouting about the EU?

Well, there is a very good reason, or to be brutally honest a whole pile of reason, but here is a brief synopsis taken from MAG themselves on why they are very concerned about this new legislation.

o                 It aims to restrict the possibility of carrying out modifications to motorcycle power-trains (from the airbox down to and including the radius of the rear tyre) - your campaigning efforts so far have helped to roll-back some aspects of this threat but we are still faced with proposals to make it far more difficult to work on future bikes and to add cost and complexity to bike ownership.

o                 It aims to prevent engine re-mapping

o                 It admits that there is no evidence to say there is a problem caused by modifications, or what size that 'problem' may be.

o                 It aims to make 'Advanced Braking Systems' compulsory on every machine from 125cc up, adding hugely to the purchase price of cheap commuters.

o                 It aims to limit the availability of aftermarket parts that may alter performance

o                 Much of the technical substance of exactly what is included may not be written until after the regulation has become law, instead the Commission will use 'Delegated Acts' to make changes and it is unclear how effectively these will be scrutinised.

o                 The European Ombudsman has found the Commission has a case to answer that the legislation has been drafted in breach of European Treaties (which requires evidence to justify a new law)

o                 Other procedures seem to be at odds with democratic accountability

Taken directly from the MAG Website,

 http://www.mag-uk.org/en/campaignsdetail/a6989

Strong stuff, but what does any of it mean? Basically if you buy a bike and then intend to modify it in anyway. Tough, you wont be able to. No funky tyres, no race exhausts and no way you are going to be allowed to take out that wimpy cam shaft and put a nice race one in that de-tuned GSXR engine you bunged in your heavily chopped Streetfighter frame. Add to that they want you to fit ABS to every bike on the market, even if it is a super cheap training bike. Let’s be honest, ABS is an option and not every one likes it. Personally, I had ABS on the Honda I rode a while back and to be frank the brakes on that lacked feel because they were just horrible. The brakes on my SV are simple “twin piston in a floating calliper” units and they are both strong and effective. In use they have loads of feel and can stop very well. ABS would be an option, but would it be nice? Also how much would it cost? 

So in protests against this draconian “thou shalt do as thou is told” laws, we all got together and had a bit of a shout on the motorway. Those present in the Van were Biker Rock Radio Boss, Steve and his Biker Rock crew of DJ Ghost and Prof Plums. On the bikes were a rather broken Jayne (still suffering with a poorly shoulder) riding a shiny and clean Sylvie and Carol with Alex on Noreen.

On our arrival at Taunton Dean services, our immediate priority was to get the music blasting and get some good biker tunes rousing the crowd of gathering bikers. I am pretty sure that no one expected a PA to turn up or for great music to be present and the guys from MAG quickly came over and said hello. A quick exchange of T-shirts and we were ready to roll.

The Biker Rock Radio Roadshow in action.

The Rozzers come for Jayne and Alex.

At exactly one PM, the convoy started and three hundred bikes rolled out onto the north bound and hit forty miles per hour. It was a magnificent sight and once again I was able to ride with Carol on a huge mass protest ride. On the south bound side of the motorway, another large group of bikers were heading the other direction and nationwide, bikers everywhere had gathered into groups to do exactly the same thing. This truly was an epic protest.

Best parts of the day had to be the smiles and waves of support we got from car drivers, crowds who gathered on bridges and kids watching. But then there is something impressive about three hundred bikes thundering by.

Other sights worthy of note were the birds of prey we saw hunting in the verges between carriage ways or on the sides. I counted several buzzards and had one fly right past me, as we cruised along, clutching it's lunch of a vole in it’s beak.

The ride was a lot of fun, but it had a serious point. That point was this, to those unelected people making decisions for “my benefit”, when you know nothing about me, get your filthy hands off my hobby!

 

A party at Gordano Services after the protest ride.

It is not just two wheels being threatened.

Prof Plums showing off his Woofers

It's a dirty job, but...

So then fellow bikers, how often do you check your chain and give it a good going over with the oil? 

Yes, motorcycle chains, damn dirty things covered in the sort of filth that should be kept well below counter if you ask me! But does it have to be this way, does a chain have to be loaded with grease that holds grit and turns into a grinding paste? 

Up until recently I was using a spray can of chain grease to keep Sylvie's chain alive, through harsh winter commuting and pouring spring rain. After a very cold winter ride in freshly fallen snow (not an experience I ever wish to repeat, I can tell you) I was too cold to sort out her chain before putting her back in the garage, so when I got to her the following morning, rust had set in and as that winter progressed, despite regular maintenance, that chain slowly chewed itself to bits. However with sixteen thousand miles on it, I can say with a small degree of confidence that it did petty well. But that chain grease, is it actually any good?

So when I fitted a new chain a while back along with a Tutoro automatic chain oiler to keep it healthy. Well, maybe not fully automatic, but for fifteen quid you can't go wrong. One hundred miles to a tube of oil and an always smooth and clean chain. There is a little fling on the rear wheel, but not more than the chain grease. However, as the oil is flung off, new oil is dripped on to replace it, can you say the same for the can of grease sat in the garage?

Sylvie proudly shows off her Tutoro

So that was that. Well until I was so impressed that I contacted Tutoro and gave them a lovely letter saying that I was greatly impressed with their product and was going to share the word among our friends, which sure enough, I did.

A while later Tutoro got in touch again and asked us if we would be interested in being involved in the testing of their brand new automatic oiler? To do so would mean bolting a new and shiny oiler onto my bike and running it around for a couple of weeks and then say what we thought of it. Now let's be honest here, if a chance like this lands in your lap, you are not going to turn it down are you? Being involved in the development of a new product is not only exciting, but is a real honour. So we signed the forms, agreed to keep it secret (which is why you are only hearing about it now, some months after the event) and waited for the new gadget to arrive. 

Then Sylvie was involved a little accident and she had to be sent away for a while to be repaired and I was left riding a Honda CBF600, a bike that at the time I hated, but have recently been remembering fondly. Sylvie was returned eventually, but with several faults that meant that she had to be returned. In the mean time, no Automatic chain oiler for her and the prying eyes of mechanics. 

So we fitted the device to Carol's ZRX1100, also known as Noreen to our regular readers (hello, we love you regular readers, you are awesome!) and then went for a ride. We did have to turn the flow up a little more than some of the others had used in the tests, but it performed very well. When the test stage ended, Tutoro asked that we send the unit back and after a couple of weeks they sent it back to us and kindly said that we could keep it! So it went right back on Noreen. 

Fitting the Auto Oiler to Noreen.

You can see the size of the reservoir here, before it is hidden by the heel plate.

So with that done and dusted we went out riding and my manual unit continued to work perfectly, providing that I remembered to turn it on or turn it off when we stopped anywhere. You know that saying of "bikes do not leak oil, they mark territory!" Well, if you forget to turn off you manual oiler and let's say leave it over night in the garage, the next morning you are faced with a little puddle of incontinence! Territory very well marked... Now this is a very minor issue and to be honest, I only did it once or twice, but it always performed very well. Then one day, the valve started to leak a tiny amount of oil. 

Now an oil leak like this means that the valve would get a bit oily and this would transfer to your gloves when you switched it on. Turns out that it is very simple to fix, you just put a dab of grease on the threads and that seals it back up again. I found this out by writing to the always lovely Tutoro and asking them how to sort it out. 

They then asked me a strange question. Did I still live at the same address? 

A couple of days later while relaxing in the bath (with a poorly shoulder again, but that is another story) the Postman (yes, it was a bloke) rang the bell. Cue me running to the front door, wrapped in a towel with wet hair and a cheeky smile where upon I am presented with a large box, stamped Tutoro! 

Inside was a little note, we are off on our hols, please fit this one to your bike and let us know what you think! Luckily modesty prevailed and I managed to get dressed before rushing down to the garage and sizing up where I wanted it to go. Luckily everything was easy to get to and fitting the new version of the auto oiler was so easy that I think I could do it blindfold! 

With Noreen, we placed the oiler in the space behind the pilots heel plate, but on Sylvie, there was no room there for that. However, I have had a hugger fitted to her and just there on the swinging arm is a now redundant threaded hole. The perfect place to mount my new auto, out of the way and in a place that will stay a little warm even on the coldest winter days, right behind the engine. Chain oil does not enjoy being cold and gets a little thick, this placement was just perfect.

Tutoro Oiler in place on Sylvie.

The run of the oil delivery tube to the nozzle is hidden just out of sight on the bottom of the swinging arm and is so well thought out as to be prefect.

The tube is colourless, the green is the chain oil.

So with that in place it was time for a test ride... Only with a damaged shoulder, the furthest I was riding was the sea front for Bike Night. Oh well, never mind.

So there we go, if you want a chain oiler that is simple to fit, works and works and works with no fuss or plumbing into your bikes important systems, then you wont find anything better than a Tutoro Chain Oiler. Both Noreen and Sylvie wear them now and you know what, I would want it any other way.

In other Sylvie news, her tyres let us down recently when they finally wore out, so it was with a heavy heart and significantly light purse that I headed over to see our friends Steve and Sue at Bridge Motor Services in Weston for some new shoes.

Steve, Sue and Jackie the dog

New tyres are always going to be expensive, but sometimes you can't afford the super technical road and track racing tyres that your heart desires and instead have to make do with the ordinary sports touring tyres that you will actually use. Luckily, they had a lovely pair of Continental Contimotions in stock for me. A quick lift down the shop with my wheels from Steve the boss at Biker Rock Radio and the new shoes were slipped on in a flash. My purse though was not left in the steaming tattered state that it could have been, thanks to both Steve and Sue doing us a big favour.

So I am going to end this post with a list of thanks to those kind people who continue to make my biking experience a damn good one. In no particular order, an absolutely huge round of doughnuts and thanks go out to these people.

Tutoro Chain Oilers

Steve and Sue at Bridge Motor Works

The Reverend Steve of Biker Rock Radio

And all of you who read this stuff. Don't forget, you can leave comments and tell us what you think of our blog.

See you all very soon at Bike Night, every Thursday on Weston Super Mare sea front.