MCE Motorcycle Insurance, Lying cheating scumbags!

So any of you out there in Internet land ride bikes on the public Highway?

Any of you do so safe and secure in the knowledge that your motorcycle Insurance Policy is up to date?

Well if you are insured with MCE Insurance, think again.

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

Let me lay a nice story for you, starting last spring when my old insurance policy came to an end. Carol and I decided that we wanted to ride together on our bikes, after all this is the first summer of us both being able to ride long journeys on big bikes. Rosie the GTR is slowly being rebuilt and it is still our aim to make her road worthy. However when we took the policy out, it was our aim to get both bikes on the road and riding in time for the Bull Dog Bash in August.

So away we go and get checking, sure enough the joys of the internet bring us the prices for two bikes with two riders. Three hundred pounds for us both, fully comprehensive. Then we get a phone call from MCE and they offer us a slightly cheaper deal. Thinking I had struck lucky, I spoke to Carol and we agreed to go for it. From there on it went down hill rapidly.

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

The Policy for Both Carol and I to ride our bikes does not exist. The Sales woman who sold it to us lied through her filthy lying teeth, to make us buy it.

I stated very clearly that the insurance I required was for both Carol and myself, to cover us on our motorcycles. When the document arrived it was not even close in it’s cover from to that of the policy that I purchased from the MCE Sales Woman. I phoned MCE to complain and was told that a policy I described could not exist. The Team at MCE were extremely unhelpful and were rude to me on the telephone, stating that I had not asked for the cover I was now rudely demanding. I was finally put through to a manager and my policy was changed, but I was charged for this change because they claimed that I had not told them that I wanted cover for me to ride my bike!

I made a formal complaint to MCE because I did not feel that it was right for me to be charged and because due to their incompetence I had unwittingly ridden my motorcycle with out insurance, which is a Criminal Offence. MCE never replied to my Complaint. Their only comment was to ask me if I had had an accident. When I said no, they said not to worry about it then! There is a reason for this and that reason is

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

Eight weeks later Noreen the Kawasaki ZRX1100 arrived in the stable. The Gentleman that I spoke to at MCE informed me that there was no record of me making a complaint against MCE and he flagged it up for his supervisor to investigate. I heard nothing from them for a week.

My New Insurance Document arrived and the motorcycles now present on the Insurance cover were the Sylvie and Noreen. However one of the riders had been removed from the cover slip. This rider was me and once again, I had been riding my motorcycle with out Insurance thanks to MCE making serious errors despite my very best efforts to comply with highway use. This time they did not even bother to talk to me and just said that MCE do not have such a policy. This would be because

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

I once again phoned MCE and was spoken to again rather rudely and informed that it was impossible that I could have been insured because MCE do not offer multi rider policies. I had in my hand at that time my previous policy that showed the GTR1000 and the SV650S insured for two riders, Carol Sexy Bum and Jayne Grumpy Bitch. The Assistant told me that there was no one who could help me at that time and informed me that a Manager would phone me back.

I called back ten minutes later and spoke this time to a gentleman called Trevor Murphy. I explained that I was extremely unhappy with MCE and that I wished to cancel my Policy that I had been mis-sold in April and that I wanted a full refund from MCE for failure to provide what they had contractually agreed to. Mr Murphy informed me that he was unable to comply with my request and told me that all he could do was charge me a large sum to cancel my policy. He assured me that he would personally pass the case onto his manager the following day and that I would receive a phone call from them.

My complaints started on the first working day of May and have not been resolved. MCE do not uphold their promise to call back and they charge for a long wait on the telephone. Their customer service is appalling and they have lied to me several times about the service they offer. When I have requested the policy be cancelled, they have argued and have been dishonest. This is because

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

From the very beginning all I have wanted to do is insure my motorcycles so that my Darling Carol and I can ride our bikes together, I can commute to work and together we can enjoy our hobby. MCE have prevented this from happening and have been nothing but unhelpful and dishonest. You know why that is though, maybe something to do with this…

It is my view that MCE are Corrupt, lying, dishonest and incompetent!

Meet Noreen, the ZRX1100.

With the sad passing of Carol's Gran, Noreen, we named a bike after her so that we will always remember her. This is a video blog of our day out to collect Noreen, the Kawasaki ZRX1100.

Sorry about the bad jokes and poo comments! Also, if you know that cats can swim, do please leave a comment below. Actually, why not leave us a comment anyway? Love from us XXX

Time to remember

Sad news this month, June 2011 sees the passing of Nanny Noreen, Carol's Nan and a woman who has shown me considerable kindness. I know that Carol was deeply upset, Nan might have been approaching her nineties, but she was never an old woman and she kept her dignity right to the end. She also kept her faith in humanity right to the end and passed away still a confirmed atheist. Her funeral was a gentle affair and we listened to some of her music as we walked in and I was asked to make a reading of a poem that I had found for her.

If I should die before the rest of you 
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone 
Nor, when I'm gone, speak in a Sunday voice, 
But be the usual selves that I have known. 
Weep if you must 
Parting is hell. 
But life goes on. 
So sing as well.

Joyce Grenfell

Her funeral was not meant to be a sad time, she was always a strong and graceful woman, who stayed strong willed and dignified right to the end. So it seems fitting that we should live on as she would want, being brave, being strong and most of all being ourselves.

When I passed my bike test I was very pleased with myself and I am sure that I blogged here that the first place we went on my first road ride on Sylvie, the massively huge and powerful bike that she felt back then was to see Nanny Noreen. I actually fell off Sylvie in the car park right outside her flat, but she never teased me or made me feel small for my mistake.

So in her honour we present a new friend to the fold. In this way, Our Nan will always be with us, not just in our hearts and our memories, but in tribute too. I present Noreen, the Kawasaki ZRX1100.

Named in honour of a dear old lady, much loved and much admired. We will be collecting her on Saturday and introducing her to the girls in the garage. 

Take care out there folks and if you too have an elderly Nan you have not seen for a while, but love dearly, pop round for a cuppa. You never know when you will see her next.

The first Bike Night of 2011.

So after a hugely busy few days, bike night hits us in the eyes and we both ended up sprinting down there on Sylvie. Agnes is still poorly and Rosie has no wheels at the moment.

In case you missed it, this is what it was like.

Mother nature plays a scene

We all went for a walk to the pub on Friday, and I managed a pint of lager before needing to rush to the loo every five minutes. But having the lads with us meant that we had to leave and wander homewards, with in five minutes of reaching the door, I was bursting once again and had to rush ahead to race up the steps by the old church and home.

At the top of the steps I encountered a little Black and white pussy cat that was acting most strange. Have you ever seen a cat look guilty? Well this one did and then I saw why. A fledgling Starling, not even enough semi-formed feathers to even attempt flight, but with the claws and jaws of a cat clamped tight around, it barely had a chance of life. I stepped in and tried to part the cat and bird, which when you are nearly six foot tall and wearing Doctor Marten Boots is easier than you would imagine. I can honestly say that it did not require the placing of the toe of my boot against the anus of the cat, but it was close.

With the little bundle now safely held in my hands, I rushed off home with Carol and the lads in tow. Once inside we assessed the damage and placed the little bird in a box, I fully expected it to be dead by morning.

Little Jack

Only Little Jack Starling did not die in the night and the next day he was subdued but alive. So we went shopping and bought him some food, which he proceeded to wolf down like a starved orphan!

Little Jack, just before breaking my heart

Hoping for a recovery and maybe a little Garden guest, we made sure that he had a safe place away from the cats and where he could develop his flight feathers. In other words we built an aviary for the little pest.

On the morning of day three, he was starting to look a bit fragile and he died in my hands. We buried him in the garden under the bush and yes, I did cry. The biggest worry with finding a wild animal that has been hurt by a cat is how serious the injuries are. On a Easter Bank Holiday, an open vets surgery is not very common and ours was closed.  Our little Starling died from an internal injury caused by a cat bite.

Yet our story does not end there today, there were things afoot and Carol and I wanted to celebrate our three year anniversary in a special way, so we bought an owl!

Little Alby is a Barn Owl and a cheeky little chappie. At the moment he is a bundle of snow white down and Claws! Well, I say he, but have you every tried to tell the sex of a barn owl, it is rather hard,

Anyway, meet Alby, our latest house guest.

Get too close and I will have you! Grrrrrrr...

It's a crazy Rosie Update!

Yes folks, we have been hard at it once again in an mad effort to get the bikes up and running for the summer and we have so much work to do.

The first bit of good news is that Rosie runs! Carol turned the key, hit the starter and the engine refused the catch, the full petrol can sat just out of eye shot, but for some reason the GTR engine would not fire. We tried for ages and the petrol can, freshly filled that morning still sat untouched in the gloom of the garage, while we scratched our heads. Then the light came on.

So after we had transfered the fuel from the can into Rosie's Tank, she coughed and spluttered in to life. She ran and in doing so shot most of her exhaust baffles out onto the concrete behind her. Oh dear, bang goes the idea quite literally of getting the exhausts repaired. Thankfully, E-Bay came to our rescue once again. A new system will be winging it's way to us very soon.

So the pictures of what we have been up to. Well it is a case of taking everything off and reconditioning the lot. Let the strippers commence...

Sylvie, Carol, Rosie and Agnes

That was hard work, but it is now off!

Look at what Sylvie spat out!

Exhaust envy

The Stripper has been here!

Starting to look less rusty as the rust falls off!

So taken off so far is the Radiator and fan, exhaust system and the plastics, almost ready to start on the really hard stuff like the centre stand and fork legs. Then we can start painting and putting back together.
I used to love motorbikes, now I have dirty black nails and sore hands, I think it is time I gave this up as a bad joke!

Today is national Day of the Arse Hole!

Today I shall proclaim to be the “Day of the Arse Hole”, this is why.

My day started in probably the most lovely way, I was snuggled up in bed with my darling wifey Carol and my cat Jasper was snuggled up into me, a perfectly blissful way to start a day if you ask me.

However, I needed to pop out on the bike to get some supplies and pop into the chemist to collect a new nasal spray to combat my dust allergy. Outside it was glorious, the Day Star was bright in the sky, there was not a cloud to be seen. I live at the sea side…

The roads were chock-a-block with traffic, bleached idiots wandered the pavements slowly turning red in the heat, the pavements are swarming with the proles, enjoying the first days of summer. This very time last year, our streets were covered in ice, how the summer continues from here I have no idea!

Once I had safely negotiated the clogged roads and made it to the super market I bought my supplies and headed over to the pharmacy to get my nose spray. From here it got progressively more difficult. I asked for a generic allergy nasal spray, similar to Beckinase. Because I happened to mention that one by brand they refused to sell me the other type, despite it being four pounds cheaper and almost identical. An argument ensued and came about because the woman serving behind the counter at the ASDA Pharmacy did not understand what Generic meant! As I argued, a large Boned (read obese, fat, chubby or grotesque!) woman pushed me, declaring that given that the woman was serving that bloke, meaning me, she wanted to be served too!

I left in disgust… only to find that some Fuck Nugget had pushed a trolley into Sylvie, putting a small scratch on the fairing and another on the clutch cover. At this point I boiled over and shouted to the trolley boy, demanding his immediate attention. I asked him if he had seen anything, but he was not able to say anything of use, a very angry, rather intimidating biker woman dressed in black biker gear and brandishing a trolley of shopping is a scary sight it seems!

The lad lead me to the security station on ASDA where I spoke to the chap behind the counter, only to be told that the security cameras in ASDA Weston Super Mare are blinded by the sun in Summer and are unable to see that side of the car park, so do remember that should any of you wish to practice breaking into cars and removing radios!

I steamed out of ASDA and packed my shopping into my seat pack and set off to Boots in Worle for my nasal spray. The roads were starting to flow and my pace picked up to almost touching the speed limit and I was starting to enjoy my day again. Yet for every moment of joy there is a moment when a pillock in a car likes to get in the way. While trying to change lanes, my indicators flashing, a git in a car decided that he did not want me in front of him. Well tough luck matey, a blip of the throttle and I was three cars ahead and managed to squeeze in there, before turning into the roundabout for Boots.

Coming off the smaller roundabout, and banked over to enter the car park, a young woman decided to stop dead in front of me. Fortunately I was not going fast, but the bike was leaned over, never a good angle to try braking hard. She had stopped because she had spotted another parked car and she was looking at it. She then drove past it and stopped again behind another parked car. Strangely there were plenty of spaces all around her!

I parked up and wandered into Boots and got my spray, my sneezes were now getting bloody, but that is the downside of a dist allergy. From there it was a simple ride back home, well it should be, but with the Day Star burning so brightly, idiots flock to the coast to wade in the faecal Coliforms, radiation and chemical waste that is the Bristol Channel.

Firstly as I passed by McDonalds, a large bus watched the car in front of me pass by, before pulling out right in front of me! Damn glad that Sylvie’s brakes work so well. The speed limit along there is forty Miles per hour and I was cruising at thirty five. I managed to get past the bus and was then on the open road again, I let out a loud sigh, the road was perfect, the tarmac Sylvie’s tyres were working together like they were for a GP race. Even at Forty, she feels like a poised and delicate hooligan. I love riding my bike.

I turned onto the Toll road, heading back home and up ahead was a large Landrover moving slowly along the road. I pulled over to let him pass and as he did, the Gentleman driving nodded and waved thanks. I started to pull away and had just got my foot back onto the peg when a lad in a green car hurtled around the corner on my side of the road and nearly collided with me and Sylvie. He braked hard and swung over towards to slow moving Landrover that was a few meters behind me. How he did not hit it, I just don’t know. That speed in narrow country lanes is idiocy!

Approaching the Toll road proper, another lad in a pale green car was driving “safely”. He was in a thirty limit driving at seventeen miles per hour and then as I approached him from the rear, he slowed down to fifteen and then stopped to give way to a car in the distance. The approaching car had to speed up to make the gap with out making every one wait for ages, but slid through, our young lad then pulled away and began to trundle onto the Toll road. The speed limit here is twenty five milers per hour, because the road can be treacherous with steep cliffs that people can drive off and die when they hit the bottom or the sea. Driving down here at less than fifteen miles per hour is taking it a little too seriously. Sylvie jumped past as soon as it was safe for us to go and we enjoyed the glorious countryside.

Finally on the home straight, less than two hundred meters from home, a Guy driving a large Range Rover pulls out in front of me, while not even looking. I know this road well and I know that it is rutted and potholed, so I was going steady, but still enough that I could get home with out getting off and pushing! I hooted my horn and the guy looked right at me, giving me the gentle wave of “oops, sorry didn’t see you mate!”.

I parked Sylvie and dismounted, the Range Rover, slid passed and I got another wave.

Today is a day when I should have stayed at home, tucked up in my bed with my darling wife and my lovely cat. Wont be making that mistake again…